How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
