i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
