so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
