Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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