he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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