I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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