why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
