yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
