what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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