i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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