I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
