The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's always time for handjobs
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
