no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
