2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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