I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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