I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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