She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
40s are totally the cure
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
