Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize