Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
