Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Found your dick twin last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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