but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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