Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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