I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize