What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
