You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
