i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
