are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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