He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
