it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
