I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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