In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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