So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
