All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
