He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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