To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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