1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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