I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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