Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
