I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
