Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
