When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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