Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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