Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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