i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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