actually, I'm a sock model
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
