He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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