At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize