By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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