I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
