dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
