i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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