I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize