dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
