one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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