I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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