Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Two words: blizzard sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
