Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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