The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
