I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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