Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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