I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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