Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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(626): View more from California

Dignity is for republicans.

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(626): View more from California

I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.

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(703): View more from Virginia

From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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(424): View more from California

You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.

(1-424): View more from California

The hell is wrong with me

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(516): View more from New York

i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal

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(303): View more from Colorado

I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.

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