Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
