did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
