I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
