i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
