im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
