That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize