oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
