you would pick up someone in the library
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
