heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I AM VODKA MAN
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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