My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
