I wanna passion pit in your ass
Quick, to the slutcave!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
