I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
